Slice of Life Day 7: opening night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry it's makeup. But also, yes I'm exhausted.

So today was an amazing day. I met up with a friend of mine for coffee. She has been going through some rough times but is in a really amazing state of recovery. We shared coffee and she has gotten to the point where she is okay eating a muffin in front of another person let alone when they aren't eating anything at all. I am really impressed by her and felt so refueled with love to spend a brief moment together.

And OH YEAH IT WAS OPENING NIGHT!!!!!!!!

We rewrote a few parts of the script which I think I mentioned last night if you were able to decipher my blathering. After picking out a new costume and rethinking my hairstyle, I was able to run through them enough times to allow my brain to really solidify them while I slept. Another friend of mine was nice enough to run lines with me again at work just to make sure that I had them down.

Now despite the fact that the temperature was in the 30s, me and my costar and our director stayed outside to run through our show again and again and again until we knew we were not going to mess up our lines onstage. Well guess what, we didn't!!! Guess what else? I was shaking life a leaf! Guess what else? I didn't have an internal panic attack while I was onstage!!!!! I guess this isn't common knowledge but when I sing I have a minimum of 2 (internal) panic attacks per show. I had several in rehearsal and one during dress rehearsal. To not have had one at all tonight feels like the best kind of victory I can even imagine right now.

And oh my god, so many people came to support me! I was so happy to see my coworkers (but also they're my friends) and Cameron and his parents and the guy who inspired my whole play by instilling existential dread about the planet in me. Sorry Nathan, that's only partly true. I've always had dread about the planet you just made it concrete and real for me. I have since dealt with it and now there's a play to show for it.

We had one funny hiccup. During a point in our play where there is a long dramatic pause the light person got a little nervous and took the lights down on us. My costar continued to say her lines so they brought the lights back up but hoo doggies was that an awkward moment. Despite that little blip we had a really, really good show. During our performance you could hear a pin drop. That is until you could start to hear sniffles. I cried. I mean of course, I was supposed to but I didn't have to fake it at all. Our director cried! And he's seen it a million times! I had some random person from the audience seek me out to tell me what a good job I did. And my friends brought me flowers and a picture of a butt farting out butterflies and butterflies farting out farts. It was amazing.

So yes I'm exhausted. Did I mention that? But also I went to Cameron's soccer game after the show to grab a beer and dinner and watch some sweaty people kick a ball around. Why has my week been so sporty? It's so out of character for me. I better do some more theater to make up for it. Oh! And my brother is going to help me design a better logo for my blog! He found a book with a bunch of antique fonts and he's going to let me pick one and then he's going to scan it and edit it to make it really cool and original.

Man. I am so fucking content right now. Like, I haven't felt this good in a long, long time. I think back on the gal that I have been and my heart goes out to her. This is the kind of me that I really like to be. I am so grateful. Really truly deeply.