Slice of Life Day 21: getting real tired of this shit

I failed another Pap smear.

Normally that isn't too much cause for concern but those of you who've been reading my blog know that I had cervical cancer last year. Well, I had it for as long as a year and a half but they only finally diagnosed and removed it in October. I thought I was done with all that and that I could go back to living my life. (I was even over most of the mental breakdowns I had last year!) But now here we go again.

I had my 4 month check up in February which let me know the inside of my cervix is healthy (yay!) but the outside is still abnormal (boo!). They said that's fine as long as my HPV test doesn't come back positive for high risk strains. Guess what, it did. I'd like to reiterate something though:

I GOT THE HPV VACCINE!!! MY "PARTNER" AND I HAD BOTH GOTTEN TESTED AND CAME BACK CLEAN!!! I THOUGHT I WAS DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!!!!!

Okay, I'll stop yelling. Here's the PSA for those of you (like me) who probably have no idea about this stuff and could end up getting cervical cancer despite doing everything right (or so you think).

• There are over 150 types of HPV, around 14 of them are known to cause cervical cancer
• The vaccine I received many years ago only protects against 4 of the 14 known strands of cancer causing HPV, the new one they have now protects against 9 strains
• They don't have a way to test men for HPV so they can give it to you without even knowing they have it
• They don't test women for HPV unless they have cervical abnormalities and they want to make sure it's just HPV caused and not a genetic version
• HPV can cause cervical cancer but it can also cause penile cancer, vulvar cancer, mouth cancer, esophageal cancer, and in some cases lung cancer
• You can carry the HPV virus and transmit it for up to two years through your affected orifices
• In 90% of cases, your body will fight off the HPV virus without you ever knowing you had it
• Smoking cigarettes increases your changes of HPV causing cancer in your body

I'm not trying to scare anyone here I just want someone to learn from my ignorance because fucking hell I thought I was doing everything right. Don't make the stupid mistakes I did.

As for me, I've got another colposcopy scheduled in the next couple weeks. They'll determine if I need to have yet another surgery to remove the affected tissue or maybe they'll finally put their foot down and tell me it's time to lose the whole uterus. Ugh. Let's hope it's not that. I read an article recently about the way your hormones in your uterus communicate with the hormones in your ovaries and that without one or the other you can have abnormalities in your brain function.

I know, I'm getting ahead of myself again. This is what I do, I'm a hypochondriac. But I'm not going to let this do me in. I'm finally feeling stable again and that is not something that I am going to give up without a fight. COME AT ME HPV! FUCK YOU! MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IS GOING TO TEAR YOU TO PIECES AND SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH. YOU MOTHER WAS A WHORE! THIS IS MY BODY AND YOU AREN'T WELCOME HERE!!! GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU CAME FROM! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE FELICIA.

yeah.