these words are not my own

Some of them might be.

I mean, it's so easy. If you want to express something, and a phrase already exists for you to use, then why not just use it? You can save yourself the energy of coming up with something original, and your listener will probably thank you for it. The phrase pops out of your head and into their corresponding cavity and you both make out without much effort. Biologically, this makes a lot of sense; you want the biggest payoff for the smallest amount of energy and using this type of communication is a great way to do that. Brainwork takes effort and humans are creatures are designed to conserve energy.

Well listen up, dudes- we've got McDonald's now so you can harvest all the energy you could possibly need for all the effort of dropping a visa in the hands of a pimply teenager. Which means more time and energy for coming up with original ideas, right? Right.

You guys know what I'm talking about. Someone tells you it was colder than a witch's tit last night and you think to yourself what does that even mean? while the guy next to you is like, oh yeah, witch's tits- I know exactly how cold those are. He's got that place in his brain where the phrase slots in and the approximate meaning is conveyed effectively. Phrases like this are funny, yes, and they definitely have their place in the world, but when they become our main source of communication, we aren't really communicating at all.

This goes for cliches as well as for words given to us by our political, social, spiritual groups, etc. If I start talking about "unpacking privilege" half of you are going to roll your eyes and half of you are going to perk up to engage in familiar discourse. I've flicked a familiar trigger. I'm getting an expected response. This sort of tactic is used by large groups as well as individuals (I'm sure we can all name a few) and it can be very effective! But if you really want to communicate, you really want to say something and you really want someone to listen, then you need to get creative. You have to dodge the deep ruts of their preconceived notions and find a way to present your idea to a part of their brain that has only been lightly sculpted by years of practice. And you have to be willing to bare that part of your brain to them in return. The part ready for new thoughts and interpretations. A workshop where you take apart the words being offered to you and really examine them for what they are and not what you think they are supposed to be.

And this is hard work! I mean, seriously, its exhausting. It gets easier the longer you do it but while you're just getting started it feels like training for a marathon after years of being a couch potato. I'm not claiming to be a master. I struggle all the time to say exactly what I mean to without resorting to phrases that have been given to me. I know I use crass language, my humor was dredged from the sewers, and my prose leaves plenty to be desired but one thing that I always strive for is honesty. And if I sound like a crusty old sea captain in the process then that's fine, maybe I can at least make you laugh while I figure this all out. But not right now cause this all this thinking has worn me out and I could use a nap.