Sholeh (revised)

Here's what you can expect:


(There were some very specific requests that had been made by my instructor/ classmates. Please forgive the asterisks in the profanity- this post gets blocked if it detects too many curse words.)

• Included military service in first sentence
• Changed Liz’s name to Andy (Andrea)
• Waited a bit longer to reveal her gender to the reader to mess with their expectations a bit
• Changed some verbs to -ing ending on front page
• Went through and removed the word “warm” in several places
• Had the rooster on her fence instead of her neighbor’s yard to make luring it over seem more plausible
• Made the rooster have it out for her specifically a bit more
• Made the carrot slightly more mysterious and sexual cause I thought it was funny
• Made the rooster smaller so its demise was more believable
• Weaved some internal narrative thoughts in various places
• I threw in an ejaculation joke for good measure
• I tried to change what was being said during the overlapping conversation to make it clear who is saying what without adding tags
• Added subtext about holes and technique
• Added more internal monologue at the bar
• Completely rewrote the bar scene
• Brought one of the possible babies daddies into the scene
• Kept “She Wolf” but put it in a better place (the lyrics are perfect for this story)
• Removed the “impossible” ninja kick
• Removed a line about slithering grass that a bunch of people hated
• Gave a bit of a longer wait for Sholeh’s reaction to the kiss
• Took us back to the cock (teacher request)

Sholeh (2nd Revision)

Three months after I’d returned from my tour in Afghanistan, I was in the passenger seat of my best friend’s truck and we were trying to figure out what to do with the dead rooster rolling around behind our seats.

“You could have just buried it in your garden” I said, gripping the door handle as she whipped the truck around another tight bend. The pathetic lump inside the black trash bag made a slight thud as it hit the door. I grimaced and looked back at the madwoman in the driver’s seat.

“Oh, that’s great  An, and when they ask if I’ve seen their precious Plymouth Rock f*cking Rooster what am I supposed to say while I have a shovel in my hand!? ‘Nope, haven’t seen a thing, just have this random hole in my yard for no reason. Don’t mind the fact that it’s rooster-sized!’” She slammed her hands on the steering wheel several more times and let out a strangled groan. Her strong jaw was pushed forward even more than usual as her steely eyes bored a hole through the windshield. She was still annoyingly gorgeous even with snot leaking out of her nose. I wiped my hand down my face and fought to get a grip on myself.

“Okay so why did you have to kill it again?” I asked.

Sholeh sliced into me with the edges of her caramel eyes. “Don’t start with me. Don’t even-” she turned back to the road. “You know how loud that f*cking thing was- I haven’t slept in weeks! They aren’t even allowed to have a rooster in town. It’s strictly hens only unless you have at least five acres-“

I cut her off with my hands, blocky and callused next to the slender ones gripping the steering wheel. “No, no I get why you hated it. Why did you have to kill it? I mean you’re not going to eat it or anything, right? Could you have just, I don’t know, trapped it or drugged it or here’s a wild idea- talked to your neighbors about it? Why did it have to die? It’s fucking wasteful honestly-”

“Cause I was sick of it, that’s why. That f*cker was crowing on my fence at 4 o’clock this morning! Four o’clock in the fucking morning! Who the f*ck gets up that early? And why the f*ck was he crowing at ME?” She wiped some spittle off her chin before she went on. “You know that thing Linda does with the carrot? I did that. I can’t believe it f*cking worked, but he was in my yard in a second.”

“Hold on, you did that at 4 o’clock this morning? Please tell me you at least put some pants on first.”

“Nope” she said popping the P with unnecessary force. “pretty much just a tank top.” Her eyes briefly flicked to me before returning to the road. Or did I just imagine that?

My face heated as the corner of my lip pulled up. My hand flashed up to cover my mouth while I busied my eyes with the passing landscape. The sun baked grasses flanking the road absolutely did NOT remind me of her twinkling little thigh hairs that used to peek out when we laid on her mother’s patio. I mashed those thoughts back down where they belong and tried to remember what we were even talking about. Oh, right. “Okay, so now you’ve got a big, fatty rooster in your yard. What happens next?”

“It wasn’t actually that big” she said. “I mean he was a noisy little f*cker but he was actually kind of scrawny to be honest.”

This made me chuckle outright as we passed a cozy little farmhouse at a more reasonable rate. “Okay fine, you’ve got a scrawny, noisy little f*ck of a rooster in your yard and it’s four in the morning and you aren’t wearing any pants- so then what?”

“Well I was still absolutely pissed at this point so when it finally got close enough I just reached out and grabbed that f*cker by the neck.” She mimed this with a strong fist held out to the windshield. I shot a sympathetic glance back at the lump still rocking back and forth behind us.

“Good lord!” I ejaculated.

Sholeh let out a gasping laugh as she said, “Well, I hadn’t really planned what to do once I’d gotten that far. I just had my hand on its neck and was so pissed and it was squawking and flailing around so I did the only think I could think to- I whipped him around by the neck and sat on him.”

“What the f*ck!” I gasped. “What the f*ck! You sat on him? You sat on that poor f*cking bird?”

Sholeh absolutely lost it at that. She started laughing maniacally as the truck swerved a bit off the road. I looked on in horror as she wiped tears from her eyes. It took me a second to realize that she wasn’t laughing any more. It wasn’t mirth that was currently wracking her body.

“Oh my god, Sholeh. What is it?” I reached a hand out to her shoulder but returned it to my lap before it made contact. Things were different now that I was “out” and I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. I tried not to think about the truck’s suspension as we bounced roughly off the gravel and nearly into a ditch. She yanked the e-break without warning and jerked us to a stop. Her shiny black hair cascaded over her arms as she bawled full volume into the steering wheel. I had known that girl since we were 12 years old and I still had no clue what I was supposed to do when she cries like that. I gave another thought to patting her back but dismissed it. Instead I found some taco bell napkins in the glove box and hovered them awkwardly next to her head.

Her sobs finally turned into whimpers and she collected herself back into an upright position. She saw my napkins and let out a soggy, familiar little chuckle. She graced me with a small smile as she grabbed them from my hands and started mopping herself up. We both tried to say something at the same time.

“Do you want me to-“
“I’m pregnant.”

I froze.

My eyes flew open as I stared at her. Her tears welled up again as she nodded. I felt my stomach drop through the floor. I pulled on a smile and looked up at her. “That’s good, isn’t it?” I said.

She looked confused as she answered, “Is it?”

“Isn’t it?” I asked.

She looked back out the window and heaved a huge sigh. “I guess it could be” she said.

“Do you know whose-“ I started. She shook her head slowly. My mouth opened a couple of times but nothing came out. I pinched my lips back together and waited for her to say something. I looked into those glittering eyes and watched as she straightened her elegant back. She pushed her hair over her unclothed shoulder exposing one side of her neck. She heaved a huge sigh and wiped at her nose. We both looked at the barren landscape that we had barreled into with the truck.

“How about here?” I asked. The terrain was about as dead and dry as Afghanistan in the summertime. The sweat dripping between my breasts only cemented that memory.

She threw her napkin out the window and pulled off her seatbelt. “Yeah, f*ck it” she said grabbing a shovel.

I rushed to follow her into the field with the rooster in tow. “Do you think maybe I should-“ I asked reaching for the shovel.

“What?” she asked. She pulled it out of my grasp and sped up.

“You know, your condition and all…” I said struggling to keep up with her longer strides.

“Oh god, don’t start with me” She said as she reached a half-rusted oil drum. “Here, it’s like a gravestone or something. That way, we know where to find it if we ever need to move the body for some reason.”

“Why would we-? Nevermind. Listen, I got pretty damn good at digging holes while I was in the army. I can take care of this in a minute flat so we can find somewhere to be that’s not so f*cking hot.”

Sholeh looked slightly offended. “I can dig a hole, okay?”

“I’m sure you can but-“

“Andrea, I can dig a f*cking hole! Just cause I haven’t dug as many as you have doesn’t mean I can’t dig a f*cking-Ughh!” She jammed her shovel into the compact dirt. It made it about an inch before it stopped dead. She glared at me and lifted it up higher to slam in back into the earth.

I dropped the rooster and watched her with crossed arms, my weight distributed evenly to each of my legs as I fell back into another skill I had picked up in the army- watching a whole lot of stupid and keeping my mouth shut about it.

She gave it a couple more tries before she finally groaned in frustration. “It’s not me it’s the dirt” she grumbled as she handed me the shovel.

“It’s the technique, ma’am” I said as I ground the blade into the clay with my boot. I let myself shoot her a sh*t-eating grin that easily stayed in place until the deed was done and I was exhausted. Both spent and dripping with sweat, we headed back towards the truck and hopefully somewhere with some air conditioning.

------

Unfortunately, our best option for air conditioning was Dripping Dave’s House of Ribs. It was exactly what it sounds like. The place sprang up across the street from the fairgrounds and was full of the usual mix of cowboys, locals and punk kids that were drawn there. A couple of girls with too much makeup and too little clothing were slurping their cocktails at the “rustic” cement slab bar top. Sholeh seemed blissfully unaware of all this as she serenaded the stuffed buffalo head on the wall with Shakira’s latest hit “She Wolf”. She was an absolutely atrocious singer and I was completely gone on her. She threw her head back as she belted out notes that weren’t even in the ballpark of where they should have been. I don’t know much about music but I knew that, at least. Her shapely hips moved in awkward rhythms with unabashed enthusiasm. She was a train wreck and I simply adored her.

A group of cowboys near the stage eyed her appreciatively but I could hear the condescending laughter coming from their table. I cheered louder hoping she wouldn’t notice. They sent uncertain glances my way before deciding to give their attention instead to one of the bar girls who had hopped on the mechanical bull. During the transition, I heard some mumbled slurs directed at me that had become familiar since I cut off all my hair. I scratched my neck in a very specific gesture and turned back to Sholeh. She was head banging her way through the last few notes of the song. I laughed out loud and gave a two fingered whistle at her ridiculous display. Panting, she planted a kiss on the KJ’s scarred cheek as she sauntered back to our little table.

“God, I needed that.” She said as she flopped into her wooden chair. She pushed her hair back from her sweaty forehead and took a sip from the electric green straw in her cranberry juice. She made a face and pushed it back to the middle of the table. “Tastes like ass,” she grumbled.

I chuckled and swigged my beer by the handle as the sweet nectar cooled my throat. God, I would never get tired of that. I mentally sent a salute back to the troops overseas still sucking down some shitty substitute. Thinking of them drew me back to the bomb that Sholeh had just dropped on me a couple of hours before. Her song was a nice respite- she had said she needed to sing the cobwebs out of her brain, whatever that meant. I sneaked a glance at her and wondered if it was working. She was looking at her phone instead of back at me, her brow scrunched up against whatever had shown up on it.

“Oh f*ck Lance is- hi, babe!” she said to the arm that snaked around her shoulders. The body attached to it was decked out in stripes, sunglasses, and shell toe Addidas.

I tried not to grimace. “Hey Lance” I said.

“Andy” he gave me a quick flick with his chin and put his pouty lips to Sholeh’s temple. “Hey, babe what are you doing here? I thought we were just doing Tuesdays and Thursdays.” He shot a glance over to the bar where one of the leggy gals in the makeup was stewing.

“Yeah, sorry I was just here for some karaoke. Needed to clear my head you know?” she shrugged away from his grasp a bit a looked towards me.

He gave her shoulder another gentle squeeze, “Okay babe, just want to make sure you aren’t catching feelings on me or anything,” He said with a wink. He barked out a sharp laugh and planted a peck on top of her head. “I’ll call you later” he said over his shoulder as he was welcomed by a cascade of giggles from miniskirts one and two at the bar.

She glared at his backside as she grabbed my beer from table and chugged its contents in about 5 solid pulls. I was impressed and horrified in equal measure.

“Feel better?” I asked.

She let out a loud belch and let her steely face warm towards me for a moment. “No,” she said.

A smile of my own peeked out a crack. It died quickly. “Why are you sleeping with him again?” I asked.

Her heavy gaze fell on me. “Andy. The dating pool here isn’t exactly Olympic-sized. I know that isn’t news to you.”

“Yeah, well f*ck that guy,” I said

“Okay but what if he’s-“ she gestured at her still-narrow abdomen.

“Right,” I said. I f*cking hope not, I thought silently. I think she heard me anyway. I think she was thinking it too.

---

“Are you sure you should be doing that-“ I tried again. Sholeh stabbed me with a look that stopped the words before I could finish. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and she thrust me the bottle of cheap, red whatever-it-was-supposed-to-be. The wind slithered and whispered through the grass that snuck up from the shaggy hillside. I could hear someone’s dogs barking distantly and an answering croon from a coyote. The familiarity ached as it slid down my throat and into my chest. I chased it with the nasty wine and snuggled deeper under the hairy wool blanket next to her. My ass was frozen to the biting steel bed of the truck but it was worth it just to be next to her under the stars.

“Can I kiss you?” she asked.

I nearly choked on my tongue as I struggled to catch up with my brain. I looked at her from my slouched position and then quickly back at the stars. “What?” I asked breathlessly. I was frozen and shaking from the cold. Or was it heat? Maybe I was overheated from the blanket.

“I think you like me” she said.

“Well, yeah” I laughed nervously, a little too loud. “You’re my best friend.”

“You know what I mean” she said.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “What?  I mean, you’re Sholeh. You’re pregnant. You’re… I mean you’re not...” fortunately she cut me off before I could make an even bigger ass of myself.

 “You like women now, right? And I’m a woman. A pretty good-looking one if I do say so myself. So what’s the problem? Why can’t you just kiss me?” She was looking at me with more intensity than I could handle at the present moment.

I gave up and looked at the stars instead. “It’s not like that, Sholeh. You can’t just ask me that,” I said.

“Why not?” she asked. “I’m here. I’m offering you this.” She grabbed the wine from me and took several deep swallows. “C’mon, let’s do this” she said.

“No.” I said.

“I mean we’ve got this romantic view here- wait what?”

“No, you’re being an a*shole, that’s not what I want.”

“Excuse you?” She snorted. She tried to put the bottle on the side of the truck but it fell off and exploded on a sharp rock below.

“F*ck” she said. “F*UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*CK!” she yelled up at the stars. She shook her head and flopped back down next to me.

“Feel better?” I asked.

I relished the smirk she gave me through her watery eyes as she replied, “No.”

I wrapped the blanket back around us and guided her head to my shoulder. “What are you going to do?” I asked.

“I don’t f*cking know” she said. Tears had started running down her face freely and dripping off her nose. “I have no f*cking clue” she said shaking her head.

I hesitated before reaching and wiping one of those tears off her nose with my finger. She gave me a quick smile but stayed where she was. “What if I don’t keep it?” she asked. Her voice was barely a whisper. “Does that make me a terrible person? Does that make me a murderer?”

“I don’t know” I said. “I mean, my mom didn’t want me. But I’m here anyway.”

“So you’re saying I should keep it? That if the baby was born maybe it could grow up to be someone like you?”

“No. I mean, I wouldn’t know the difference, would I? That baby could be anything. Maybe it solves world hunger and invents time travel or maybe it turns out to be a serial killer.”

“It would make a difference to me, you know,” she said, leaning closer, “if you weren’t here.” This time she gave me a full, real smile, her white teeth gleaming in contrast against her dark skin. She licked her lips and looked at my mouth then back into my eyes.

 I could not f*cking believe this was real. I must have been looking down at my body from another plane of existence as my shaking fingers smoothed over one sharp cheekbone. My weight must have shifted itself so I could gently touch my nose to hers watching for any signs of retreat. Some outside force must have held us in place for a moment as I tried to will my frantic heartbeat into something even resembling a normal rate. It could not have been reality that allowed me to swallow her tiny inhale of breath as I slowly leaned in to press my lips against hers- the soft warmth of her mouth cushioning mine for a brief moment or possibly an eternity before I finally pulled back and looked into her eyes. Her lids were heavy and her breath was coming out of parted lips. I relaxed a bit and gave her some more distance.

“You f*ck” she said.

My stomach fell through the ground. I had made a huge mistake. “What?” I asked.

“Did you just say my child could be a serial killer?” she asked, swollen lips twitching up.

“No! What? No! I mean, you know what I mean”  I tried to say but I couldn’t defend myself over her renewed laughter. She threw her head up to the sky in mirth as the moonlight bathed her in its glow. I watched the sky soak in her beauty and her beauty soak up the sky in return. She was like a painting. A beautiful painting. Some painter somewhere along the line f*cked up badly when they didn’t put this image on canvas. A photo couldn’t possibly do it justice. It was too soft, too real, too warm or was it cold? I couldn’t figure it out. I hadn’t lost those shivers yet. She let out one last sigh and sprawled back against the cab.

“I wish I hadn’t dropped the f*cking wine.” She said.

I crawled my way out of my thoughts as I laid back down with her, albeit a bit stiffly. She adjusted us so I was the pillow again as she groaned against my chest.

“I don’t want to be someone’s baby mama,” her muffled voice said to me. “I don’t want to have a baby daddy. I don’t want to breastfeed. I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I don’t want to give up karaoke nights at that sh*tty bar,” sweeping hand gestures had begun to swing at me from both sides. I dodged them the best that I could. “I don’t want strangers to touch my belly or have uncontrollable gas or go to f*cking Kids R Us. I NEVER want to have a play group. I can’t bake. I can’t even remember to take my birth control at regular enough intervals, apparently.” She pulled her head out of my chest and looked me straight in the eyes. “I’m not cut out for this. I can’t f*cking do this,” she finished weakly.

I stroked her hair as her tirade fizzled out. I didn’t know what to say.

“Do you love me?” she asked.

“Of course” I said.

“Like that?” she asked.

I took a deep, steadying breath and looked up at the heavens. I tried to manually stop another shiver with a firm hand on my thigh. “Yes, like that” I said.

“For a long time?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, gripping my leg that much harder. The shivers were getting worse. “I’m sorry but, yes a very, very long time.” I braced myself for her reaction as I avoided her direct gaze.

She plopped back down to snuggle close to me and pull the blanket up to her chin. She wiped her nose and laid a long arm across my middle.

“Okay” she said.

The shivers stopped. I was completely frozen in time until her head starting bouncing against laughter bubbling up from my chest. “Okay?” I asked. “That’s it?”

She turned her head to look up at me. She searched my eyes for a moment before she laid her head back down. “I mean, that’s not it it, but I think we’ll work it out.”

My chin rested on her head as I took in the desert valley below. I nudged Sholeh’s shoulder and pointed to a spot in the distance, “Hey, I think I can see that oil barell from here” I teased.

She slapped my arm but snuggled in a bit deeper. Her hand moved down to my hip. “I could have dug that hole, you know” she mumbled.

I smiled and relaxed back into her, “I’m sure you could, babe” I whispered into her ear.

---

Anyway, sorry for a (sort of) repeat post. I was working on this until midnight last night so it's where my creative juices currently reside. Next post is sure to be something more interesting.