a work of fiction

[FULL VERSION] This is a short story that I wrote for class. Cursing and Grown up (can't say the M word or I'll get blocked) themes abound.

"Sholeh" by Juli Keele 

The first time I heard “She Wolf” by Shakira, I was in the passenger seat of my best friend’s truck and we were trying to figure out what to do with the dead rooster rolling around behind our seats.

“Can’t we just bury it”? I asked. I gripped the door handle as she whipped the truck around another tight bend. The pathetic lump inside the black trash bag made a slight thud as it hit the door. I grimaced and looked back at the madwoman in the driver’s seat.

“Oh, that’s great Liz, and when they ask if I’ve seen their precious Plymouth Rock fucking Rooster what am I supposed to say while I have a shovel in my hand!? ‘Nope, haven’t seen a thing, just digging this random hole in my yard for no reason. Don’t mind the fact that it’s rooster-sized!’” She slammed her hands on the steering wheel several more times and let out a strangled groan. Her strong jaw was pushed forward even more than usual as her steely eyes bored a hole through the windshield. She was still annoyingly gorgeous even with snot leaking out of her nose. I wiped my hand down my face and fought to get a grip on myself.

 “Okay so why did you have to kill it again?” I asked.

Sholeh snapped her head to me and impaled me with her warm, caramel eyes. “Don’t start with me. Don’t even-” she turned back to the road. “You know how loud that fucking thing was. I haven’t slept in two weeks. They aren’t even allowed to have a rooster in the city limits. It’s strictly hens only unless you have at least five acres-“

I cut her off with my hands, “No, no I get why you hated it but why did you have to kill it? Could you have just, I don’t know, trapped it or drugged it or here’s a wild idea- talked to your neighbors about it? Why did it have to die?”

“Cause I was sick of it, that’s why. That fucker woke me up at 4 o’clock this morning! Who the fuck gets up that early? What does he have to be so god damned excited about?” She wiped some spittle off her chin before she went on. “I tried that thing Linda always does with the carrot. I can’t believe it fucking worked, he hopped right over the fence.”

“Hold on, you did that at 4 o’clock this morning? Please tell me you at least put on some pants to do this.”

“Nope; undies and tank top.” She peeked a sly grin at me. My face warmed a bit and I couldn’t help but grin back. I let brief giggle escape.

“Okay okay, so then what?” I asked. We passed another lonely farmhouse at a more reasonable rate as she continued her story.

“Well I was still fucking pissed at this point so when it got close enough to me I just reached out and grabbed that fucker by the neck.” She mimed this with a strong fist held out to the windshield. I shot a sympathetic glance back at the lump still rocking back and forth behind us.

“Do I want to know what happens next?” I asked.

Sholeh laughed a little as she said, “Well, I hadn’t really planned what to do once I’d gotten that far. I just had my hand on its neck and was so pissed and it was squawking and flailing around so I did the only think I could think to- I whipped him around by the neck and sat on him.”

“What the fuck!” I gasped. “What the fuck! You sat on him? You sat on that poor fucking bird?”

Sholeh absolutely lost it at that. She started laughing maniacally as the truck swerved a bit off the road. I looked on in horror as she wiped tears from her eyes. It took me a second to realize that she wasn’t laughing any more. It wasn’t mirth that was currently wracking her body.

“Oh my god, Sholeh. What is it?” I reached a hand out to her shoulder but returned it to my lap before it made contact. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. The truck started to bounce as we pulled off into the gravel and nearly into a ditch. She yanked the e-break without warning and jerked us to a stop. Her shiny black hair cascaded over her arms as she bawled full volume into the steering wheel. I have no idea how to handle people when they cry. I gave another thought to patting her back but dismissed it. Instead I found some taco bell napkins in the glove box and hovered them awkwardly next to her head.

Her cries finally turned into whimpers and she collected herself back into an upright position. She saw my napkins and let out a soggy, little chuckle. She gave me a small smile as she grabbed them from my hands and started mopping herself up. We both tried to say something at the same time.

“This song is awful-“
“I’m pregnant.”

I froze.

My eyes flew open as I stared at her. Her tears welled up again as she nodded. I felt my stomach drop through the floor. I pulled a smile and looked up at her. “That’s good, isn’t it?” I said.

She looked confused as she answered, “Is it?”

“Isn’t it?” I asked.

She looked back out the window and heaved a huge sigh. “I guess it could be” she said.

“Do you know whose-“ I started. She shook her head slowly. My mouth opened a couple of times but nothing came out. I pinched my lips back together and waited for her to say something. I looked into those glittering eyes and watched as she straightened her elegant back. She pushed her hair over her unclothed shoulder exposing one side of her lithe neck. She sighed and wiped at her nose. We both looked at the barren landscape that we had barreled into with the truck.

“How about here?” I asked.

She threw her napkin out the window and pulled off her seatbelt. “Yeah, fuck it.” She said and grabbed a shovel. 

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Sholeh was an absolutely atrocious singer. She threw her head back as she belted out notes that weren’t even in the ballpark of where they should have been. Her shapely hips moved in awkward rhythms with unabashed enthusiasm. She was a train wreck and I simply adored her. I glared at the oafs in the corner booth who were making faces at her performance. Half the bar had already gone outside for what was probably an extra smoke break. I cheered harder hoping she didn’t notice any of those assholes. She gave one final note that turned into a scream as she head-banged her way to the end of the song. I laughed out loud and cheered full volume at her ridiculous display. She gave the KJ a kiss on the cheek as she sauntered back to our little table.

“God, I needed that.” She said as she flopped into her chair. She pushed her hair back from her sweaty forehead and took a sip from her cranberry juice. She made a face and pushed it back to the middle of the table. “Tastes like ass,” she grumbled.

I chuckled a little and took a swig of my beer. It was something yummy and hoppy but I couldn’t remember what. I wasn’t drunk but I was having trouble thinking about anything other than the bombshell that Sholeh had dropped on me a couple of hours ago. Her song was a nice respite. She had told me that she needed to come here to blow the cobwebs out of her brain- whatever that meant. I sneaked a glance at her and wondered if it was working. She was looking at her phone instead of back at me. Her brow was scrunched up against whatever had shown up on it.

“You okay?” I asked. She continued to look at her phone. “Hey” I said. I kicked her foot under the table. She shot a glare up at me.

“What?” She said.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Your mom on your ass again? She knows you’ve graduate college, right?” She chuckled and made a face as she sipped again at her cranberry juice.

“That crazy bitch” she muttered. She turned her phone towards me. “No just Eric posting more photos online of him with other girls.” She swiped to the next page. “Oh look, he’s grabbing her ass in this one, classy.” As she placed her phone she knocked over the little plastic menu display that was sitting on the table.

“Feel better?” I asked.

Her smile warmed her face for a moment. “No,” she said.

I smiled back. “Fuck him.” I said. “He’s not your boyfriend, right?”

“Yeah but what if he’s-“ she gestured at her still-narrow abdomen.

“Right,” I said. I fucking hope not, I thought to myself. I think she heard me anyway. I think she was thinking it too.

“Can we just get out of here?” She asked. I knew she felt slightly guilty that I hadn’t gotten my turn at the mic yet. I was grateful for the excuse to skip it. “Let me buy your drink,” she said. “You got me last time.”

“Don’t forget my tots.” I said to her receding backside. I let myself watch it as she headed to the bar. She was fearless, as usual, as she pushed herself in between a couple of guys to get the bartender’s attention. I glanced down to figure out how many more tots I could wolf down before we had to head out. I looked back up just in time to see one of the cowboys at the bar slap Sholeh’s ass as she leaned over to grab a pen. I was instantly on my feet, my military training kicking in without any conscious thought on my part. I was at her side in an instant, fists balled up, as Sholeh fixed the perpetrator with huge eyes. He was 6 inches taller than me sitting down but I knew I was stocky enough to take him. Before I could make a move she put her arm across my chest. I looked at her in confusion just in time to see her cock back her leg and kick him full strength in the ribs the way I’d seen her do a hundred times to the rowdy hogs at her grandfather’s farm. The man held on to the bar to keep himself from falling completely off his stool. I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the guffaw from escaping. It’s a good thing that fucker has a lot of padding flew through my mind as I braced myself for what would happen next.

“Are you fucking sorry?” she asked. His buddy next to him snorted a chuckle into his piss colored beer.

The man blushed and held his ribs. He mumbled something at the ground. Sholeh’s arm was still wrapped across my front as I stared him down.

“What?” she asked him. “Was that an apology?”

“Yes. Sorry, I just thought you wanted it. You were bending over like that..” his sentence died away at the look on her face. Or maybe it was mine. I really hope it was mine.

 “And you’re not going to do that again, right?” she asked.

“No ma’am.” His buddy laughed again into his beer. He didn’t try to cover it up this time.

“Good. Glad we understand each other.” She slapped his arm and turned back to sign her check. I gave the man a cold smile that I felt in my toes. He crinkled his nose at me and turned back to his beer.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here” Sholeh said. I nodded and followed her out of that shit hole.

---

 “Are you sure you should be doing that-“ I started. Sholeh stabbed me with a look that stopped the words before I could finish. She belched and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she thrust me the bottle of cheap, red whatever-it-was. The grass slithered and whispered beneath the truck with the breeze that snuck up from the shaggy hillside. I could hear someone’s dogs barking distantly and an answering croon from a coyote. The familiarity ached as it slid down my throat and into my chest. I chased it with the nasty wine and snuggled deeper under the hairy wool blanket. My ass was frozen to the biting steel of the bed.

“Can I kiss you?” she asked.

I nearly choked on my tongue as I struggled to catch up with my brain. I looked at her from my slouched position and then quickly back at the stars. “What” I asked. I was frozen and shaking from the cold. Or was it heat? Maybe the blanket was too warm.

“I think you like me” she said.

“Well, yeah” I laughed nervously, a little too loud. “You’re my best friend.”

“You know what I mean” she said.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “What?  I mean, you’re pregnant. You’re… I mean you’re not...” fortunately she cut me off before I could make an even bigger ass of myself.

  “You like women, right? And I’m a woman. A pretty good-looking one if I do say so myself. So what’s the problem?” She was looking at me with more intensity than I could handle at the present moment.

“It’s not like that, Sholeh. You can’t just ask me that,” I said.

“Why not?” she asked. “I’m here. I’m offering you this.” She grabbed the wine from me and took several deep swallows. “Let’s do this” she said.

“No.” I said.

“I mean we’ve got the stars right here- wait what?”

“That’s not what I want. You’re being an asshole.”

“Excuse you?” She snorted. She tried to put the bottle on the side of the truck but it fell off and hit the ground below.

“Fuck” she said. “FUCK!” she yelled up at the stars. “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK!” She shook her head and flopped back down next to me.

“Feel better?” I asked.

I relished the smirk she gave me through misty eyes as she replied, “No.”

I wrapped the blanket back around us and put her head on my shoulder.  “What are you going to do” I asked.

“I don’t fucking know” she said. Tears had started dripping off her nose. I hesitated before reaching over and wiping one off of it. She gave me a quick smile but stayed where she was. “What if I don’t keep it?” she asked. Her voice cracked a little. “Does that make me a terrible person? Does that make me a murderer?”

“I don’t know” I said. “I mean, my mom didn’t want me. But I’m here anyway.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t take that chance away from it? That if the baby was born maybe it could grow up to be someone like you?”

“No. I mean, I wouldn’t know the difference, would I? That baby could grow up to be anything. Maybe it solves world hunger and invents time travel or maybe it turns out to be a serial killer.”

“It would make a difference to me, you know. If you weren’t here.” She said. This time she gave me a full, real smile, her beautiful teeth glowing against her warm skin. My callused fingers shook a little as I smoothed them over her cheek. I gently touched my nose to hers watching for any signs of retreat. We stayed there for a moment as I tried to will my frantic heartbeat into submission. I swallowed her tiny inhale of breath as I slowly leaned in to press my lips against hers. The soft warmth of her mouth bathed mine for a brief moment before I pulled back and looked into her eyes. The lids were a bit heavier but her smile just as warm. I smiled back and gave her some more distance.

“You fuck” she said.

My stomach fell through the ground. I had made a huge mistake. “What?” I asked.

“Did you just say my child could be a serial killer?” she asked as she held me at arms length.

“No! What? No! I mean, you know what I mean”  I tried to say but I couldn’t defend myself over her renewed laughter. She threw her head up to the sky in mirth as the moonlight bathed her in its glow. It could have been hours that I watched the sky soak in her beauty and her beauty soak up the sky in return. She was like a painting. Some painter somewhere along the line fucked up badly when they didn’t put this image on canvas. A photo couldn’t possibly do it justice. It was too soft, too juicy, too warm or was it cold? Because of the speckled abyss that opposed her? She let out one last sigh and sprawled back against the cab.

“I wish I hadn’t dropped the fucking wine.” She said.

I crawled my way out of my thoughts as I laid back down with her, albeit a bit stiffy. She adjusted us so I was the pillow as she rested against my chest.

“I don’t want to be someone’s baby mama. I don’t want to have a baby daddy. I don’t want to breastfeed. I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I don’t want to give up karaoke nights at that shitty bar. I don’t want strangers to touch my belly or have uncontrollable gas or go to fucking Kids R Us. I NEVER want to have a play group. I can’t bake. I can’t even remember to take my birth control at regular enough intervals, apparently. I’m not cut out for this. I can’t fucking do this.”

I stroked her hair as her tirade fizzled out.

“Do you love me?” she asked.

“Yes” I said.

“Like that?” she asked.

 I took a deep, steadying breath and looked up at the heavens. “Yes, like that” I said.

She snuggled a little closer and pulled the blanket up to her chin. She wiped her nose and laid an arm across my stomach.

“Okay” she said.

I froze for a moment and then her head bounced a bit as I laughed. “Okay? That’s it”? I asked.

She turned her head to look up at me. She searched my eyes for a moment before she laid her head back down. “Yep.” She said. “That’s it.”

My chest and limbs filled up again. It was warm this time. Definitely warm.    

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Feel free to love it, hate it or eviscerate it in the comments section. If you want to read the rest of it, drop me a line and I'll send it to you. Or let me know if you would like me to post the rest of it instead. This excerpt is approximately 1/3 of the entire story.

Thanks!

*Edit- just posted the full thing.