crushin'

Don't even talk to me about Nina Dobrev.

You know how some people have their "cheat list". They have a list of 5 or so celebrities that if they ever met in real life, their spouse would give their blessing to consummate their crush? I mean, let's get real; if they ever did meet that celebrity (and miraculously the celebrity was interested) would the person actually go through with it? I doubt it. Maybe I haven't been married long enough to know how I would behave in that scenario or maybe I'm just a special brand of loyal but I really can't imagine anyone actually going through with it-even with permission. It's just too messy, too complicated. But somehow, it's perfectly acceptable to have these types of infatuations and special lists just in case.

And yet when these types of feelings translate to real life, people suddenly pretend as if they don't exist- as if they can't feel the same way about the handsome guy at the bank as they do about the heartthrob on their favorite t.v. show. Why is that? Why can't you be in a committed relationship and admit that if that gal at the coffee stand offered you sex on a silver platter that it would take every ounce of willpower to turn that down? The point is; you would turn it down, right? If not then you either have a different arrangement than I do, or you maybe aren't as committed to your partner as you thought.

But here's the thing; if you are in a monogamous relationship, and you are still a living human, then you will still have these feelings- and there is nothing wrong with that. Honestly, it would be weirder if you didn't since you've spent your whole life up until this point having them. Also I'm pretty sure it's only in fairy tales where suddenly all your needs are met by one person and no one ever even catches your eye again. Well this is real life, and those are unrealistic expectations and it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

I guess I'm just sick (personally) of trying to pretend like I don't feel certain things in order to fit my expected role. Well you know what? I've got a crush on the IT guy. So fucking what? He's objectively adorable- that's just a fact. And yet I can't tell you how many people I've dated that would absolutely lose their minds if they heard me say that. Well consider this my giant "FUCK YOU" to them. I've finally found a sane individual to be with who understands the difference between involuntary reactions and conscious decisions. Someone who doesn't make me feel like the slime of the earth if I smile at the guy pouring my beer, or flips his lid when I say the t.v reporter has a nice butt. These veins are still full of blood, my body still produces all the right chemicals, and I'm not ashamed of that- and I am happy to share my bed every night with the same, goofy, lanky, farty, Calvin Klein underwear model who wakes me up each morning with a kiss and a cup of coffee and, to me, that's the kind of decision worth making. 

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So there are only two days left of this blogging challenge. I'm still on the fence about how I'm going to proceed after this- whether or not I'll keep going and with what frequency. Feel free to pipe up if you have a preference. My brother was suggesting once weekly for longer posts and deeper content.

If anybody cares these are the other two celebrities on my list: (And no I wouldn't actually sleep with them........ okay maybe Martin Freeman)

 Anderson Cooper

Martin Freeman