Tuesday, November 7, 2017

grateful for private restrooms


Because nobody likes pooping in public places.

Listen, I respect and admire those people who have the balls and the DGAF to play Battle Shits with the person in the next stall, I seriously do, but I am just not one of those people. In the horrible event that I find myself in a public place with the sudden need to "drop the kids off at the pool" I am so very, very grateful for private restrooms.

Of course that gratitude is often tinged with guilt since those restrooms are usually designed for things like gender neutrality, or ADA standards, or as a "family restroom", and I'm very sorry but I simply can't poop in public places! And I'm extremely sorry to all of the families and people with disabilities and differently gendered people who have had to put up with people like me stinking up their private bathrooms since the laws were passed that put them in place. I realize that I am a complete monster but I am also grateful so that counts, right?

Okay well this post is pretty weak so I went ahead and added my favorite video about pooping to attempt to jazz it up a bit. I may be a bit livelier tomorrow but then again I might not. We'll see how it works out.


"How to Poop at a Party"




3 comments:

  1. Having young kids also makes me grateful for any restroom that is clean and provides a changing table. There is nothing worse than trying to change a wiggly child on a dirty bathroom floor. If it comes to that I usually change them in the car instead. As one of the people who regularly utilizes the restrooms you mentioned: we don't mind. Poop on girl. You're not a monster unless you don't clean up after yourself.

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    Replies
    1. I'll try not to smear feces on the walls next time.

      :D

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  2. You are hilarious. Oh my goodness. Here's my link for today: https://iheartpurplestuff.blogspot.com/2017/11/new-carpet.html

    ReplyDelete