lessons

They can be really shitty sometimes.

As I stumbled through young adulthood, my mom's plethora of helpful philosophies was more likely to inspire a scoff or a dramatic eye roll rather than the careful consideration that it probably deserved. But somehow, despite all of my efforts to the contrary, so many of her lessons wiggled their way past my juvenile defenses and cemented themselves somewhere within the vicinity of the absolute foundation of who I am as a person. Or maybe she passed it on to me through her genetic material and our hours of philosophical discussions and debates were a moot point. I'll leave that to the scientists to decide.

Whatever the reason, one lesson that has stuck with me is that, "when you are ready, the teacher will come." I think this was originally a lesson paraphrased from Buddhism but I've found a similar idea from other spiritual bents as well. The idea is that when some new person or situation brings hardship into your life, it means that you are ready to learn how to overcome that hardship and grow from it. The annoying new employee at work who won't leave you alone was put there so that you can learn how to develop patience and set boundaries, your hopeless crush that keeps stringing you along is there to teach you how to stand up for yourself and decide your own romantic destiny, the boss who belittles and bullies you was put there so you can learn how to stand up for yourself or maybe to give you the incentive you needed to leave a dead-end job to pursue a better career.

Since I'm not one for the ethereal, I tend to think of this more as a guideline for interpreting others' behavior, rather than as a conscious decision made by a higher being on my behalf. Either way you look at it, the result is the same. Rather than seeing someone else's poor attitude or behavior as an affront to your way of life, you see it as an opportunity to become a better human being. I can't say that I always stick to this philosophy or that it's always easy to view situations in this way, but if I can step away from my pride for a moment and muster up the courage to do what needs to be done to fix myself in order to fix the situation, I come out happier, stronger and more at peace 100 percent of the time.

Today's blog is inspired by the difficult situations that I find myself in lately, both of my own making and from forces beyond my control. I can let them determine how I feel about my life and about myself or I can take the control back by deciding that this is an opportunity for improvement. If something or someone is making me unhappy, it's up to me to have the balls to recognize it and make the changes necessary to regain my peace of mind. I must refuse to be a victim of circumstance or to let myself become complacent with unhappiness. I have the power to make my life better if I can be brave enough to face what I've done in my life to get me here. No, I won't be giving up my control to a "higher power" but you can be damn sure that I will be owning up to my own behavior rather than blaming others for what I've endured.

So here is me, trying to get back on that upswing. Thank you to all of you who have unwittingly purchased a ticket on this free emotional roller coaster ride. Hopefully these posts are helpful to those of you who also struggle with your own happiness. I feel like it can only make us stronger to be able to admit to it and be brave enough to take the steps needed to make it better. As one of my coworkers would say, "what a great opportunity this is for improvement!"

Alright, I'm ready.