motivation (or lack therof)

So this is my current view.

It's honestly pretty typical one for me for a Saturday afternoon. Thanks in part to the fact that Alex brings me coffee in bed, I usually haven't even gotten up at this point. The fact that there's a cat in my lap is my flimsy justification for remaining immobile for this long. I believe the proper term is "cat paralysis". But let's get real, by Saturday at 1:19pm I probably should have already made breakfast, had a couple of glasses of water, tidied the sitting room, gone for a walk, had a chat with my neighbors, gone 'round to the shops.... whatever the fuck it is that productive people do.

Listen, I am either the hardest-working person you've ever met or the laziest. There really isn't a in-between for me. Due to the way my life is set up currently, I'm either working a full eight hours, plus schoolwork and a two-hour commute or I'm completely inert on my cellphone for six hours at a time while I try to convince Alex to bring me a sandwich and a sparkling water.

Sometimes I really wish I could be normal. It would be so convenient if I could do one load of laundry a week instead four every month. Or if my bathroom had a state of existence somewhere between "surgically sterile" and "toxic waste dump". But how the fuck do people do that? Routine? The word alone makes me want to puke. A set of given tasks that you complete on a regular schedule to maintain a respectable standard of living? I mean, when you put it that I way I guess I can see your point. But how do I get to there from here? Especially given the fact that shirking responsibilities is one of my favorite pastimes.

So here's my mental to-do list:

• clean my car
• prune the apple tree
• tidy up my "Juli droppings" from around the house
• write a letter to my grandmother
• clean the bathroom
• go grocery shopping
• mop the hardwood floor
• practice guitar
• get some exercise

And knowing me, once I get started I will do ALL of those things. In succession. The hardest part is getting started. All I have to do is get out of this bed. One leg at a time. Just put one of these feet on the floor and the other is surely to follow. Then I will stand up, and put some pants on, maybe a sweater too, I don't know we don't have to get too fancy. Put a hat on? Yeah, that sounds doable. Oooooooookay. Staring..........now! Right now! Here we go!
 
...


Alright just a few more minutes and then I swear I'm getting up.