dread

I've had a lot of this lately.

"The dreading is worse than the doing." claims the yellow sticky note dangling from the left side of my computer screen at work. It has been stuck there for the last three years or so and has never become irrelevant. I keep thinking I'm only a moment away from learning this lesson to finally free me from the constant reminder of my inadequacies but alas I am still paralyzed by the tiniest bit of opposition. Sometimes it feel like the only way to face my fears is if someone were to scoop me up in a snow shovel and plop my remains directly in front of the issue that I've been avoiding all this time. They may also have to tape my eyelids open and chain up what's left of my body parts to keep me from trying to flee because lord knows I will.

I'm saving you from some terrible metaphors I came up with to explain what a mushy piece of lump I am currently being when what I want to be is a steely pillar of strength. Rather than write about it, I'm just going to do it. I will tell you how it goes. I don't imagine this will go positively. The sun rises and sets despite my measly human problems. No matter what happens, I'll figure it out. Wish me luck.